January 9, 2012

Week 2 Complete

Weigh in: 1/9/2012 Monday  250 lbs down 0.2 of a lb.  Does that even count? Meh

Starting Weight:  12/26/2011 Monday 252.4


What a total emotional roller coaster of a week.  I've been eating like crazy so when I weigh in and don't lose weight I won't say "but I've been eating so healthy"  because I haven't. 

Baby boy has been sick.  This alone stresses me out.  But he hasn't been sleeping.

Formula for stress eating:
Me+lack of sleep+anxiety over the pending death of my youngest child (OKAY crazy mommy)=total nut job.

Hoping to have a better emotional week.  I'm on like day 10 of read the bible in 90 days.  I just finished Exodus (OMG SNOOZE FEST).  I really enjoyed Genesis.

I've managed to workout 6 out of 7 days.  I got up super early this morning and walked.  Now I'm on the verge of puking (I need a nap).

My anxiety has been super high.  Every January is like this.  I think the month of January should be made shorter.  It is too long to be right after Christmas, which goes by so quickly.  I mean 5 weeks of cold and yuck.  Plus the impending 3rd anniversary of my mom's death.  She got sick in January, I relive these things in my mind I keep thinking what could I have done to save her.  At times I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for her to just pop her head out like she's been hiding all this time.   Plus I totally have anxiety about losing weight.  Every time I get on that scale I think wow that's not a big change I should just QUIT. 

But then what?  What is there?  Get fatter?  OH GOD of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Be with me, bless me, bless my children, and my children's children.

My husband hates, I mean truly HATES, Self Pity. 

How he lives with me I'll never know.

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