March 8, 2012

Oh the roller coaster

Yeah that's right, I've lost my way again.  Well to be honest I completely abandoned the path for hopes of finding a bus or train.  Something to carry me along my way to weight loss instead of doing it myself.  I know doesn't exist.  I'm just tired of being fat and tired of trying to change the habits that made me that way.  So I'm kind of stuck in the middle.

Tomorrow will make 3 years since my mom's passing.  I find it interesting that I haven't been able to lose any weight since then.  Not surprising at all just interesting.  At times I feel like I am just sitting here waiting for her to come back.  DUH!! I know it isn't going to happen, but that is how it feels.  I've tried the whole dealing with feelings thing so I would quit eating them, but it hasn't seemed to work for me.  Just yesterday I ate 3 brownies in a matter of 30 seconds when my son drove me nuts.  What's up with that?  Seriously am I that person?  I guess I've become her.  I need to get back on a path, any path.  One that takes me forward not back and one that I can emotionally handle.

Kitchen Update:
I decided in my infinite wisdom that I would update my 1960's knotty wood pine cabinets and buy some "newer" laminate counter tops.  I know, I know, not laminate.  I can't afford anything else and I figured anything would be nicer than busted up yellow laminate.  Pictures to come later.

Oh and I'm about to get back into the pallet collecting business.  I'd like to make a couple of tables with them and I think I've found a business I can get them from.

Goals:  Just for Today (I like bullets)

  • Exercise 45 minutes of cardiovascular
  • Do 100 squats, 100 bicep curls/should press thingy's, 100 crunches, 100 push ups (you know modified), 100 chest presses/flys
  • Eat no more than 1850 calories and no less than 1800
  • drink plenty of water (really need to work on this)
  • Go on interview with positive winning attitude
  • Sand at least 2 cabinets doors 
  • wash, dry, and put away giant pile of clothes 
  • Cook healthy dinner tonight--grilled chicken, vegetables