January 9, 2012

Week 2 Complete

Weigh in: 1/9/2012 Monday  250 lbs down 0.2 of a lb.  Does that even count? Meh

Starting Weight:  12/26/2011 Monday 252.4

What a total emotional roller coaster of a week.  I've been eating like crazy so when I weigh in and don't lose weight I won't say "but I've been eating so healthy"  because I haven't. 

Baby boy has been sick.  This alone stresses me out.  But he hasn't been sleeping.

Formula for stress eating:
Me+lack of sleep+anxiety over the pending death of my youngest child (OKAY crazy mommy)=total nut job.

Hoping to have a better emotional week.  I'm on like day 10 of read the bible in 90 days.  I just finished Exodus (OMG SNOOZE FEST).  I really enjoyed Genesis.

I've managed to workout 6 out of 7 days.  I got up super early this morning and walked.  Now I'm on the verge of puking (I need a nap).

My anxiety has been super high.  Every January is like this.  I think the month of January should be made shorter.  It is too long to be right after Christmas, which goes by so quickly.  I mean 5 weeks of cold and yuck.  Plus the impending 3rd anniversary of my mom's death.  She got sick in January, I relive these things in my mind I keep thinking what could I have done to save her.  At times I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for her to just pop her head out like she's been hiding all this time.   Plus I totally have anxiety about losing weight.  Every time I get on that scale I think wow that's not a big change I should just QUIT. 

But then what?  What is there?  Get fatter?  OH GOD of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Be with me, bless me, bless my children, and my children's children.

My husband hates, I mean truly HATES, Self Pity. 

How he lives with me I'll never know.

January 3, 2012

Week 1 Complete

Start Date: Monday, December 26, 2011  Weight: 252.4 lbs

Monday 1/2/2012 weight Check in: 250.2 lbs  down 2.2 lbs

Before Pics from Christmas: Well I have them, but I was so ashamed I can't put them.  I will put them up as I put up progress pics :{

This week has been on and off, very roller coaster.  But an overall success.  My motivation is at it's highest.  I've had a couple of really low days but I've had to push past them.  Exercise has really helped.  I've been a total spaz as of late, very emotional.  The New Year always seems to do this to me.

This weeks goals included 30 mins exercise 4-5 days (6 Days completed 30 mins +),  logging all food eaten 7 days (6 Days Complete), and eating within calorie range 80-85 percent of those days, and positive self talk (Doing this a little).   

Goals for 2012:
Walk or Jog Fat Boy 5K in April
Ride the Trace by March
Go off road biking by September/October
Walk or Jog Turkey Trot at Thanksgiving
Drop 60+ lbs for the year
Finish Reading the Bible in 90 Days, March 23
Read Girl With a Dragon Tattoo, by May 23
Completely give up Tetris on FB by the end of the year

**I'm feeling super irrationally irritated with people and how selfish they can be.  To the point where I want to scream.  I've helped family, spent time with nieces and nephews, taken them places, etc.  Do you think any of my family or my husbands ever calls and takes our eldest anywhere?  NEVER!!  One even drove by our house and didn't stop to see his grandchildren, how pathetic.  At least one of my family members is honest about "I don't do anything unless it benefits me some how".  I'm not going to eat it out.  I'm going to work it out.  Pray and ask for peace.